Dear Nigerian men, marriage is a journey that requires more than love; it demands preparation, foresight, growth, and self-awareness.
Stepping into the role of a husband is not merely about committing to a partner but also about ensuring that you’re ready to lead, support, and nurture a healthy and lasting relationship.
Before you take that young lady to the aisle, it is important that you reflect on certain key areas that can make or mar your marriage.
There is nothing like luck in marriage! Taking time to prepare is one step to a successful marriage.
This guide highlights five essential things every man must do before marriage.
1. You cannot be homeless
Before starting a family, a man must have his own house.
You cannot build your family under someone else’s roof.
It’s impossible to lay a proper foundation for your family if you live in your parent’s house or squat with a friend.
Some argue that since my parents have a big house, why should I rent an apartment? I can save the money to do other things.
Imagine this scenario: your wife goes to the market and wants to cook maybe Egusi soup. After she arrives from the market, she quickly dashes into the kitchen and sees that your mother is cooking in the kitchen. So she needs to wait till your mother is done. How do you think she’ll feel? Because one thing I know about women is that they like their own space. They want their things arranged in a particular place.
So before you think of marriage, get your place, furnish it, and settle. Then you can go ahead with plans to woo that lady into marrying you. You don’t have to be afraid if you haven’t gotten everything needed for the house; your new wife will work magic. Women know how to turn a house into a home.
2. Broke guy
Financial stability is a crucial aspect of marriage. Before considering marriage, it’s important for a man to have a steady source of income. Struggling with money can strain the relationship, and society’s expectations can make it even more challenging.
That’s why, as a man, you should only get married with a source of income.
Or you are already harbouring plans of killing someone’s child with hunger abi.
I know some religious fanatics will say God will provide. Some will even argue that it’s God that told them to marry.
“I heard a small voice saying, “Get married now before it’s too late,” they would say.
I’ll answer these fanatics with these facts: God is not an author of confusion. He is not dumb; he has created principles. It’s even cited in 1 Timothy 5 v 8 (KJV): “But if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”
There is no way God will want you to take this destiny step and fail at it just because he wants you to get married.
Some lazy men have identified a successful woman with a thriving business or job and want to leech her. If you use tricks to marry that woman when she sees that you aren’t financially capable of supporting her or even uplifting her, she will divorce you, my friend.
3. Research her family background.
Family background is essential in marriage, as we live in a country with different cultures and traditions. I won’t lie to you, my guy. Before you walk that woman to the altar, could you do your due diligence?
“Courtship is a time for interviews, not intercourse”. Spend time seeking knowledge about your wife and her family.
Do proper research about your woman’s family. Ask questions and have difficult conversations. I think you need to know about the family background, family history, and family patterns.
4. Prayer and counseling
You need prayer; before you make this bold step, you need lots of prayer.
Find a church or make your room a prayer chapel and pray earnestly. Pray like your life depends on it.
I remember this song by Ebuka Songs, “I will pray, I will pray oh if I don’t pray Satan will make a mess of me.
If you don’t pray and seek God’s counsel for your life, Satan will indeed make a mess of your life.
Mr Man, don’t joke about this vital part. With the way the world is going and the attacks planned against marriages.
Statistics say that 70 per cent of marriages end in divorce. Some issues that end marriages are mostly tied to irreconcilable differences.
Take this advice: Aside from prayer and fasting, please get books and read them! You need all the information about marriage. You might not get the practical information, but with godly counsel from certified counsellors and mentors, you’re one step from having a fruitful marriage.
With God by your side, I’m sure your marriage will be just fine.
5. Health check.
You can go for a comprehensive health check. You must visit the hospital to take tests, such as reproductive health evaluations and generic testing for sickle cell disease, cystic fibrosis, etc.
Some relationships have crumbled because couples are not aware of their genotype and blood group before committing.
Before your relationship becomes another statistic, could you find out everything you need about your spouse’s health status?
There are certain diseases that people are inflicted with that they don’t know.
Bonus point:
Aside from these points we raised, Before marriage, design goals or map out a blueprint for your new marriage. Setting goals before getting married is crucial. It’s not just about love; it’s about building a life together with purpose.
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